Tips To Increase The Chances Of A Successful Relationship Counseling Experience
Many couples face struggles in their relationship that warrant the help of a counselor. Although counseling can help some aspects of a relationship, it takes the effort of both people involved in the relationship to make counseling a successful experience.
Be An Active Participant
Taking a passive-aggressive standpoint on counseling helps no one. Some partners may claim they are willing to try counseling but are not truly engaged in the experience. They may be cold and standoffish to the counselor and are only physically present at sessions. Remember, when you agree to try relationship counseling, it will likely involve revealing your true feelings about your partner and your relationship in the presence of your partner. Both people involved may not like what they hear, but it is important to be honest and receptive of the truth. There may be exercises during the session and at home you need to complete. Some personal exercises may involve improving communication or intimacy. Although these exercises may seem unusual or uncomfortable, you will likely gain valuable insight into yourself and your partner by completing them.
Stop The Blame Game
Regardless of the problems in your relationship, your counselor will need you to take responsibility for your part in the problems. If you cannot accept responsibility, counseling sessions and your home environment will often turn into a shouting match without any real progress. One such problem in relationships is infidelity. If you are trying to work past infidelity, it does little to help the problem when you simply blame your partner. Although you may have felt alone or unloved, the infidelity was a conscious choice.
It's Not A Magic Bullet
Counseling is only a tool to assist in fixing your relationship. Some couples go into counseling as a last effort to save their relationship and often think the experience will magically fix problems. Although the counselor's goal is for you and your partner to find common ground and possibly see that your relationship is more important than the current instability you may be going through, not all relationships can be fixed. Remember, it is okay if you and your partner try to solve problems but simply realize you are not right for each other or issues such as infidelity are too much to overcome. Making an amicable split is an acceptable goal, especially if there are children or joint assets.
Although relationship counseling is an important aspect of maintaining or achieving a healthy relationship, there are other factors that can make or break the experience. Both partners should take their responsibility seriously to make counseling a successful journey. To learn more, contact a professional such a Sharon O'Connell, MA.